Waste of time/random ranting.

I've been around the proverbial block a few times. Whenever I've said "this ain't my first rodeo," it's not me trying to be a dick or to create useless bullshit. It means I know I'm doing and I'm going to do what's in the best interest for the situation surround me and others surrounding the situation. Shit happens sometimes, and I've learned to just take it as it is and put it away. One of my best qualities about me is that I'm such a laid-back person that I've been able to express zero emotion. You can't tell if I'm angry or exhilarated. Lately, it seems like I've been on the wrong end of the attitude meter. I remember when making music, and being in a band was efficient and fun. I want that back. I regret taking it too seriously in the past, and I've learned from that. I guess I'm just irritated on the slow progress. I'm impatient. I was used to things going so quickly and having a little bit of success and recognition for it. It was good times packing the van with people and gear every other week and trekkin' on down to that shitty bar in Attleboro to play in front of 10 people all the time. It was a freakin' blastey and a half. I remember doing the sax solo for the pot of gold in two takes. I really wanted to keep the first one, but I played a note somewhere that was so out of key that it made the take go from awesome to horrible. The second take is the one on that recording that got used. Two takes was all it took. And it's not like everyone knew what the hell was going on back then either. I had never been in a recording studio before those sessions. I learned a lot back then. I learned a whole lot more this past summer doing sound at the underground shows. Efficiency. For Natick and Clinton, I brought with me my mixer, my rack full of effects, two speakers, a snake, and all the mics. I had everything set up and ready to go in 15 minutes. I'm not trying to say that I'm a gear god or anything like that, but I sure was hell efficient at it. I got multiple compliments on my work as a sound guy, and it was great to hear having never really done it before. I really want to think that what I'm doing now is going to work itself out. I'm feeling worse about it further and further, and I'm almost to the point where I just want to start fresh. One of my best friends is an insane guitarist and it sucks for me to just not see that talent being put to use right now. I know he feels the same way as he's told me multiple times "I just want to play guitar in a band." I'd want nothing more than to see that happen. Both of us have agreed on wanting to find a female vocalist. I've seen my fair share of them, and that's a crop of talent ripe for the picking. Drummers are harder to find than a needle in a haystack...good ones anyway. I know of a couple really good drummers, one I could see working with no problem, and the other, I'd really want to see work out, but I have a feeling it just wouldn't. Cooperation is a big deal. Maybe I'm still taking this "being in a band" thing too seriously.